Okay, like I said before, this post has to do with yesterday which was basically me crying.
I don't cry often. I don't want to. I don't like crying. It's not something I like. But, for some reason, what happened yesterday had me crying. Essentially, I was searching up on Google when EXO was going to come to the US, right? And then, I saw it. I saw that they were going to be at KCon. I cried at that. Do you know why? Simply because I thought that that would be my last chance to ever see them in my life and I need to see them. I want and I NEED to see them. I need to confirm/figure out my feelings in my heart with Chanyeol, Sehun, and Tao. I need to figure out who they really are. If they are just putting up something fake. I need to. But, because I felt so helpless, felt like I would never see them, that I would never understand myself, I cried. But honestly, even if I did know, my parents wouldn't let me go, but I would do anything to see them (not really ANYTHING, but you know what I mean, right?). I would do anything for them. I just want to see them. But, back to the crying bit. Me crying amazed me. Like I said, I don't cry often. But, EXO is so important to me that I actually cried for them. I love them so much that I hate them a little too. Which leads me to my question. When did EXO come to mean so much to me? When did they become such a big part of me and my thoughts. When?! I know there are sasaeng fans that are absolutely crazy out there that seem like they may be similar to me in terms of how important EXO is to them, but I'm not becoming one of them am I? I would never want to see anyone from EXO hurt. I would do anything to make sure they don't get hurt, why? I love them that much. I love their music. I love their personalities. I love their inside jokes. I love their nicknames. I love how they look (yes, I can get kinda shallow like that). I love their dancing. I love their singing. I love their rapping. The main vocals are all amazing. I'm a bit jealous of their voices, but at the same time, I also love my own voice. I love them and I want to see them. I need to. I cried for them. It made me hate them a bit. But, love and hate are so close to each other. Even if you love a person, I feel that you'll also have a small piece of them that you hate. Whether it's a personality trait, a physical trait, or something else. That's just how we are.

Bottom line is, EXO. I cried for you. I cheered for you. I laughed with you. I clapped with you. I love you. Please God. Let me see them at least once in my life and please let me talk with them. I'll learn Korean if I have to. I already know some Mandarin, but I need to brush up a little. Please God. Please.