Can I just write about something I totally DON'T understand? Love. And Guys.
I don't get you. Why.

Let me explain just a little bit. As for love... well, I've never fallen in love. I've had a couple crushes before, but those are not even serious. It's more like, oh yeah, he's cute. More than, omg, I love everything about him. You know? That second one I've only really felt about my biases in K-Pop which is kinda sad. Anyway, so I've never fallen in love. Do I want to? Hell yeah, but there's no one. I don't know if it's just like I don't realize it or something, but I haven't found a person that I truly love. I'd probably do anything for that one guy if I found him though... Anyway, onto the second thing I don't get. I can't dwell on this love thing. Actually, I think I wrote a post on that before... well, whatever.

Guys. I don't get you. Or it's more like, I don't get my reactions to you. WTF. I don't get my own self in the way I talk to you or anything. I DON'T GET IT!!! This all stems from one person. Obviously. Because I'm wondering about this whole love thing, I keep thinking about if I love anyone and that guy keeps popping in my head. I deny it (I always do) in my mind and to myself of course. Honestly, I probably don't though. I always do this. Even with my biases in K-Pop. I keep saying that I don't love them. Then, I go into it and say that I do. Finally, I realize, wait a second... I don't actually think I do. You see? So, basically, in the end, I won't like the guy. Yup. That's my life right there... for now. Anyway, back to what this is about. My reactions to you guys. I don't get it. For most guys, if I talk to you for a short period of time, I'll be totally comfortable about it. But, if I talk longer (especially to guys I actually find attractive), the way I speak changes. I don't know why, but whenever I talk to that damn guy (I think I wrote about him too... I don't know. Go check.), I can't speak the way I want to. I don't get it. It actually takes a HUGE amount of courage to even talk to him (Which is why I only went up to speak to him once... Sorry dude.) mainly because he has friends around him like all the time (It's so fucking hard when you have so many people around you. Why do you make it so difficult???!!!) and when I do start talking, my voice is weird and starts getting kinda shaky. Why the hell am I like that when I talk to you? Maybe it's just because I took the initiative to talk to you? Maybe it's just a common response for girls to guys? I don't know. Actually, I'm not even sure what I think of him and what he thinks of me... I'm not really sure if we're friends.... I'm confused okay. I'm freaking confused. I don't think we're exactly friends... but I'm never sure. It's not like he needs another friend though. He has plenty of them. From what I've seen anyway. (Btw, he's the one who keeps connecting people I know together. WTF, why do you know like everyone I know? That's weird as hell. Oh and he's one of those popular people I was talking about) So, yeah. I can't talk to you. I can barely look at you even though I seem to seek you out. So, what the hell is this? Does anyone have a damn answer? Whatever. I'm getting off now. I need to do my damn HW. Fuck this school.