Lately, I've been neglecting a lot of things outside of school. I hate it! But, I don't have any time for much else besides school and it sucks ASS. Anyway, also, I want to say that recently, I've realized something. In this school, it seems like the only thing I'm doing is keeping the information taught fresh enough in my mind to pass a damn test. That's stupid. Life isn't about tests. It's about applying that information we learn, but in this school, we have like NO TIME to fully remember and understand all this info. In my old school, I would actually learn it not memorize for a short period of time and push it to the back of my head again. Geez.

Also, about neglecting things, I've been neglecting a lot of things whether it's writing my fanfics (Yeah, I write fanfics. Deal with it.) to writing reviews on my other blog to voice-acting, I'm completely neglecting it and I don't like that. I feel like I'm letting absolutely everyone down. Sometimes I really hate my life and I feel really stressed everyday and honestly, the only thing keeping me going is music (EXO, MBLAQ, Minna Arigatou Gozaimasu), Japanese class (Favorite class!), Chorus (2nd favorite class), and my friends. I have friends at my old school too, but I made new ones there and I really want to keep them. They are awesome too!

On friends, it's kinda weird. It's like everyone I associate with or are friends with and also friends with my other friends and it's like we're all interconnected somehow and it's just weird. I don't know how else to explain it. Also on friends, about me really, I am not that outgoing. Compared to other people, I don't have people surrounding me all the time, so it can get lonely and I feel kinda isolated. At the same time, I can blend with others pretty well and I can talk to pretty much anyone. I don't know if that's really good or bad. Also, about my personality... err... let's just say, it attracts a certain type of person to be my friend. You see, popular people can attract anyone to them and make them their friend right, but me, although I can blend with anyone, that doesn't mean I'm friends with them. My friends are typically a bit quirky and are most likely similar to me. I don't know what I'm really saying anymore and my mind's kinda jumbled up, but I hope this post made somewhat sense and I'm gonna get off. I will hopefully be able to work on my other projects soon!! But now... TOO MUCH HW. HELP ME!!!! \(TT^TT)/

Sehunnie & rewrite

Yo, I haven't written in like forever, but this is another EXO thing. I know. I should just start calling this blog EXO troubles or whatever, but this is Sehun/For Sehun/ I don't know...
It's about Sehun, obviously. I wrote this on Google Drive first, but here goes (it also includes my rewrite of Just The Way You Are for Sehun...):

You know the crazy thing about Sehun? He’s so similar to me sometimes. He’s also pretty much my dream/perfect guy ever. I’m not joking. I feel that even if I did meet him on the street & talked with him, and he wasn’t exactly the same as what I may have thought from EXO’s stages and whatnot, I wouldn’t mind. His motto, “Let’s live life doing the things we like!” couldn’t be truer in my mind. I believe that wholeheartedly. I believe that if you aren’t enjoying what you are doing, then you shouldn’t be doing that at all. It doesn’t apply to everything, but for the most part, it’s so true. Some things, like school, you have to endure, but if you have a job that you hate so much and it’s eating you from the inside out, then, you shouldn’t do it. He’s good looking. It’s true. I won’t lie about this. I find him very good looking. Kinda breathtaking I guess. I know that’s really something to describe a girl, but it’s true for him too. My heart aches for him, you know? Also, when he smiles, as I said in my re-write of the Just The Way You Are lyrics, “his laugh, his laugh, I love so much I like to see him happy.” When he’s happy, I love him the most. He’s so serious on stage that if I ever saw them on stage, if I was close enough, I would yell, “SEHUN!!” and use my fingers and my face to tell him to smile. It might annoy him or even mess him up, but if he isn’t smiling, I worry about him. I worry if he’s not having fun or if he’s hurt or if he’s worried about something else. It hurts my heart you know… He has this cuteness and innocence around him sometimes, but other times, he feels just really strong and ah, I don’t know how to describe it. His personality of being shy, but opening up later is just like mine actually. I’m not just BS-ing you because I want to have things in common with him. It’s true. With strangers, I won’t talk to much, but if you ever saw me with my friends at, say, the lunch table, I talk really loudly, laugh like a hyena, bang my hand on the table or slap my forehead with it, and so much more. I open up when I really trust someone as a friend. His lisp isn’t even noticeable to me, but it’s probably because I don’t speak Korean. Who cares anyway. If he has a lisp, who cares. I’ll still love him. His ideal type, is a bit of a problem for me you know… He wants a kind woman. The thing is, I’m not always kind. I can be really crude and I curse often. My temper can get out of control and I can act like a guy sometimes. But, for the most part, I am pretty nice. I care a lot about others and if anyone starts or looks like they are about to cry, I’m always the person who gets up and grabs a few tissues to hand to them. Anyway, enough about me. Another part of his type is that he prefers noonas or women older than him. Who am I kidding. I’m 5/6 years younger than him. He’d never look at me like that… would he? Despite that, mentally, I could be at least 20, but hey, I don’t really know. Also, I believe that I could take care of him just as well as any noona could. I can do basically everything a girl is “expected” to know how to do/know and I can care for people quite well. Overall though, I just love him to death even though he may never know me and will probably never care for me in his lifetime. My rewrite couldn’t be truer…

“Oh his eyes, his eyes

are so beautiful, gazing deeply.

His hair, his hair

is so soft I want to ruffle it maybe

He looks so good~

and I tell him every day.

Yeahhh

I know, I know.

When I compliment him, he won’t hear me.

And it’s so, it’s so

sad to think that he won’t ever see me.

But every time I think of him, asking.

I say…

When I see your face~

There’s not a thing that I would change.

‘Cause you are perfect~

Just the way you are.

And when you smile~

My heart stops as I stare for a while.

‘Cause dude you are perfect~

Just the way you are.

His aegyo, aegyo

is so cute I want to hug him badly.

His laugh, his laugh

I love so much I like to see him happy.

He looks so good~

and I tell him everyday.

Oh you don’t know, you don’t know

I’d never ask you to change.

If perfect is what you want,

then just stay the same.

So, trust me when I say that you look okay!

You know I’ll saaaay~

When I see your face~

There’s not a thing that I would change.

‘Cause you are perfect~

Just the way you are.

And when you smile~

My heart stops as I stare for a while.

‘Cause dude you are perfect~

Just the way you are.

The way you are~

The way you are~

Dude, you are perfect~

Just the way you are.

When I see your face~

There’s not a thing that I would change.

‘Cause you are perfect~

Just the way you are.

And when you smile~

My heart stops as I stare for a while.

‘Cause dude you are perfect~

Just the way you are~.